this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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