I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize