There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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