Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
