So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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