That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
