He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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