so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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