I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.