i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
