Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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(713): View more from Texas

PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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(806): View more from Texas

For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.

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(914): View more from New York

I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.

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(386): View more from Florida

Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success

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