Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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