i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize