This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize