I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
