porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
