Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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