Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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