her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
