PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize