I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
