I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
