remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
