eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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