i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Randomize
