Plan B is the new Plan A
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
