Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
