i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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