In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize