Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
