it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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