He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.