In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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