So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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