your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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