he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
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I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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