some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it because I queefed?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i out mim tonsoeep
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