It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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