Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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