You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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