god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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