8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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