i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
