Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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