I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
