I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
