turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
