It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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