I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
