I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
