Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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