my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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