think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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