youre lurking in front of me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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