I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
