Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
