don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
